I couldn’t talk to anyone in my family because that’s just not something we do. The few times that I did confide in one of my sister’s, she ended up using it against me and spat out ugly judgement during an argument. My family is close but not close. We have a great time when we are all together, laughing and joking but when it comes to feelings, emotions and communication, we fail miserably. Also, I knew if I told them, I’d be judged and made fun of. I was embarrassed because I felt that I failed as a mother. What mother wants to know or deal with the fact that her son violated a child? No mother should have to face that.
If not for my circle of friends, I’d be a lost soul. Not Facebook friends or coworkers or mere acquaintances but my real friends. Some who I have known for 20+ years and some far less but I love them all dearly. I am beyond thankful for them because they don’t judge and they give it to me straight, whether I’m right or wrong. They are incredibly supportive and amazing. I confided in one friend in particular because he has two son’s. I presented to him the scenario and he told me that there’s no way that can be tolerated. I’m Catholic so I went to confession. I had sleepless nights. I was edgy. I was just sick with grief, worry and guilt. I didn’t know what to do. Then, one day I received a phone call from the girl’s school. It was the school nurse. She said that she needed to ask me some questions and I told her that I’d call her back. I panicked and freaked out. I left work after that call and sat in my car in the parking lot to contemplate what to do and say. I called another old friend and asked what I should do. She told me that I had to do what was right even though it was going to kill my heart. I wish I could’ve talked to my family about it.
I confirmed what the girl told the nurse. The nurse kept assuring me that I was doing the right thing and she told me that she would keep the family in her prayers. After the call I felt relieved. Relieved to get that off of my chest but I was also terrified. What was going to happen next? Will he hate me? Will the girl get counseling? How will her mom react? That same day, he was arrested and the nightmare gets worse.